More reflections from the amazingbiscuit

I miss the last letter of the alphabet...

2011-08-02T09:06:00.000+08:00

Its been getting really tired to sleep each night... I keep thinking and thinking.. what went wrong? If I can't even help a small group to grow, how then can I even manage a church? Sigh... Its beginning to affect me... Why can't people want to resolve things.. Why can't we talk?

Guess we all have different ideas of what friends should be.. Believe me... this post wasn't meant to be this short.. but too much thinking.. too tired to write any more... Lord Let me be numb....

The Sink

2011-07-31T00:29:00.000+08:00

I came back and now I'm falling sick.. first from the bruises off the tuk-tuk.... and next the flu and throat.. but mostly.. its just the sinking feeling of dealing with people... both at work.. and well... Christians... So ... sigh

To Master, to Serve, to Grow

2011-07-19T00:26:00.001+08:00

No.. I'm not a fan of MGS, ok maybe i used to like MGS girls.. but that's not the point.. I think Pastor Alvin's sermon on Sunday struck a chord with me... especially cause for the past few weeks i've been struggling with knocking some gospel sense to a dead piece of wood...

Perhaps.. the part which struck me was when he reminded us that as we seek to master the word, we must let the word master us... and the result would really be in how we serve and how we grow.. What is growth then? I was saddened to hear to growth is tied so closely to the church.. in relation to the WOG. If it is the case, would not a person like me have the most growth? would not a professor have grown the greatest? Yet.. it is funny that not all Doctors... are Christians though they may teach the WOG.

Galatians 5:22-24 ²² But ^athe fruit of the Spirit is ^blove, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, ^aself-control; against such things ^bthere is no law. ²⁴ Now those who ¹belong to ^aChrist Jesus have ^bcrucified the flesh with its passions and ^cdesires.

Don't get me wrong.. I ain't about to be all buddhist and all that but really if the word does not transform you... (romans 12:2) then whats the point? I was told that my church doesn't seem to be growing because its focused to simplisticly on loving neighbours and all that stuff.. but really

Galatians 5:13-14 ¹³ For you were called to ^afreedom, brethren; ^bonly do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love ^cserve one another. ¹⁴ For ^athe whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "^bYOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."

Without the transformation that comes from the word and the seeking after Christ, can we really grow to be more like him? to be in the image once more? or do you think without Christ we can simply love our neighbours... Christians are not about doing good deeds for our good deeds pale and our hearts are often unpure, yet when our hearts are changed we really can't help but want to see the good done, to see justice served out.

I'm just trying to grow here... to see some more of my life changed.. I'll stick with that.. Too much head knowledge leaves me not able to think about others...

In a world....

2011-07-17T00:22:00.001+08:00

I guess. its late... and having had conversations with some friends.. you begin to appreciate their thoughts and their sharing.. their honesty as they try to walk together to become more like Christ... i'm grateful. Though I may not be the best friend.. but I would try..The bible doesn't say much about friends.. though you would probably find the most from Proverbs itself.

²⁴ One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

So.... well... Its been quite sad of late.. but thank God for friends who really mean it... Maybe I should just slowly let go of the ones that don't try.. after all...

if we ever get to this verse

2011-07-11T22:56:00.000+08:00

Its been so long.. but I wonder if we can ever meet again to read... this would be a most interesting verse, for it surely reflects me and Siping's heart.

2 Corinthians 6:11-14 ¹¹ ^aOur mouth ¹has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our ^bheart is opened wide. ¹² You are not restrained ¹by us, but ^ayou are restrained in your own ²affections. ¹³ Now in a like ^aexchange-- I speak as to ^bchildren-- open wide to us also. ¹⁴ ^aDo not be ¹bound together with ^bunbelievers; for what ^cpartnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Is it too much trouble to ask that you be open wide to us? that whatever hiddeness you have be made known? One of the ways the evil one does to people is to get them to hide.. Ask Eve... and Adam.. when we want to hide the things and not bring to the light.. there is an element of untruth.. we should be afraid.. and weary..

O Lord... Why are open hearts often forced to close? Why do people not bear their inside to you... since they know you already see their hearts?

A lost sheep?

2011-07-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

So I was asked today... can we look at Luke 15 in a different way? i.e. instead of the shepherd as the central focus to find the lost sheep, to focus on why the sheep should want to run away? I said.. sure why not.. and so i started to wonder.. If I were a sheep, why would i run?

There is food, water and safety... yet mebbe there are just too many people around, more flaws will be shown, i don't want to account. (Who would.. if there were so many sheep sniffing butts?) so i would run... there is freedom.. i can go another place, find a bunch of wild sheep who don't really care... i can be... me.

I'm sad at this point... Siping is right.. mebbe after a while.. we just have to throw our wedding photos away... or take an eraser to erase the people....

I always wanted this small group... not be as a small group.. artificially planted with the nicities and trying to be nice friends so that I can have a sense of belonging to a group. I wanted us to be friends.. who spur each other on..

2 Corinthians 2:4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I ^awrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful,
but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.

This is what I feel.. and this is what I thought I would be doing..

2 Corinthians 2:17 ⁷ For we are not like many, ^1apeddling the word of God, but ^bas from sincerity, but as from God, we speak in Christ ^cin the sight of God.
I sometimes just wish we would live superficially... I really wonder.. God.. why do you place me in a group which doesn't love your word.. I should find it a waste? but mebbe its for the good of all... I never wanna boast.. but I always wonder if God.. the grace you shown would be better used other places.. but mebbe cause I know Lord that no small thing is too small... How apt that we are called not so small..

So well... I guess not every sheep likes honesty in relationships...

disappointment Part 2

2011-07-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

We're finally nearing the end of the 1st letter of Corinthians and its kinda sad that we never finished it... but having read through the letter hopefully with the eyes of Paul and now moving to his second letter.. I can't help but wonder if the last time we met was the last? Paul never went back to Corinth, instead he chose to write the second letter...

2 Corinthians 1:23 - 2:2 ²³ But ^aI call God as witness ¹to my soul, that ^bto spare you I did not come again to ^cCorinth. ²⁴ Not that we ^alord it over your faith, but are workers with you for your joy; for in your faith you are ^bstanding firm. ^NAU2 Corinthians 2:1 But I determined this ¹for my own sake, that I ^awould not come to you in sorrow again. ² For if I ^acause you sorrow, who then makes me glad but the one whom I made sorrowful?

I can't help but feel a tinge of sadness at the hiddeness of things... and back to the feeling sad, i wonder is it really wrong to ask for peace? Paul writes..

2 Corinthians 1:3-9 ³ ^aBlessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and ^bGod of all comfort, ⁴ who ^acomforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in ¹any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵ For just ^aas the sufferings of Christ are ¹ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. ⁶ But if we are afflicted, it is ^afor your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; ⁷ and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that ^aas you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort. ⁸ For ^awe do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our ^baffliction which came to us in ^1cAsia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; ⁹ ¹indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead;

Paul writes that the God, heavenly father is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflctions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in affliction with the same comfort we have received from God. If it is a cognitive comfort as suggested, we would simply tell the brother.. hey you got peace already.. its all in the mind... Not very comforting. Note in Vs 5, if the sufferings in Christ are abundant, so are the comfort.. So by right if the peace and comfort are merely cognitive, then the suffering should be as well, ala Descartes? We are sharers of the suffering of one another.. Paul writes in all honesty that he despaired even of life... was this cognitive or did he really want to die?

Its funny how a friend of mine can simply choose to get angry and upset over comments and disicpline mad to the person yet claims that there is peace already but is clearly more discouraged than a person like me who can ask for peace..

But as of now.. I am very disappointed.. its the insercurities which lead to untruthfulness.. accountability is seldom given.. because of the nature of freedom...

disppointments...

2011-07-09T20:09:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda disappointed actually.. how people would change.. but then again i would get used to it. Seeing a friend change because of church makes me wonder. Perhaps WMC isn't the best but to say that you can't grow here is not acceptable... I really question what growth is? Is growth the cognitive growth of the word? to study more and not see a person change in his likeness to be like christ? Seeing how the foreign church and the outcome on how they behave to each other is so disappointing.. playing pranks and feeling smug because they know the word of God more.

I really feel saddened. Simply because when questioned on his theology, the friend would say its not fair to argue with him because he hasn't been to bible school. But if that were the case, why would he simply believe the pastor over there? With the M theology, mebbe he should just tell the pastor that any form of death is ordained by God and chosen. See if that brings comfort.. And oh you can't pray for peace anyway and if you cry and feel anxious then you don't know the correct peace. The cognitive peace precedes the feeling.

Philippians 4:7 ⁷ And ^athe peace of God, which surpasses all ¹comprehension, will ^bguard your hearts and your ^cminds in ^dChrist Jesus.

This was the verse of contention... which says.. you can't pray for the feeling of peace. My wife quickly pointed out.. the preceding verse.

Philippians 4:6 ⁶ ^aBe anxious for nothing, but in everything by ^bprayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

In EVERYTHING? did he say EVERYTHING? strange that a person would say that God controls everything, but we can't pray for peace because we should already have that. I think the theology of prayer is a bit faulty..

I'm also disappointed to be taken for granted of. I mean , don't give me the whole thing that "oh you are my friend and so close and all that.." when you promise to call, to recouncile and talk yet zilch. But when you are troubled you would..

Sianz... Mebbe I should have just learnt that lesson from Yanqi... shouldn't even bother.. just lose one more person... See how the HOLY SPIRIT (according to M theology) has changed the person.... come back slam his home church, and HOLY SPIRIT makes his eyes see that other churches are not good enough.. not holy enough, not Christian enough.. ITs all about salvation. You take your salvation.... I will continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling..

How then shall we work? Together?

2011-06-23T12:05:00.001+08:00

I had a conversation with a friend last night... and it came about that we began to discuss about working together for an event. So I began to ponder over the question... how should we work together.... perhaps even what was most important? The friend thought that we should be giving our best to God and in the process those who could not do good enough, should just not bother doing it as their attitude is not good. So the kind of substandard work should be used for missions field as the quality is not very high... The friend really enjoyed working with me as a team and another person ultimately, we worked independently for the same project and there was trust. Again I wondered was this the way Christians worked?

So I began to wonder... is this really the goal objective of what we are doing... The idea of best... if you do a simple word search, you'll see that the Lord throught the old testament refers a lot to the physical as he begins to show his love to his people. This was very much the people's idea too, as Joseph gets his best clothes, King Solomon gets the best foods, Daniel and friends get the best foods... Yet even in these stories, the best is yet to be.. (pun intended) Joseph realises that God's best ain't just about being the I/C, the favoured one. Rather he had to go through so much just to be molded to be used. Solomon and Nebuchadnezzar both realised that in the end.. its meaningless for it is the Lord who builds the house who makes kings the way they are. Daniel and friends would rather eat food that does not defile themselves and know that the Lord is the one who makes them strong.

I believe in working together to aid the weaker and the stronger. That's the love that Paul describes both in acts 15 and Corinth. We slow down for the weakest and in that process the love is made perfect in all of us. Speaking of perfection, I don't believe the bible speaks about perfection in the way we humans see it.

Philippians 3:12 ¹² Not that I have already ^aobtained it or have already ^bbecome perfect, but I press on ¹so that I may ^clay hold of that ²for which also I ^dwas laid hold of by ^eChrist Jesus.
So Paul himself understands that perfection is something that is not possible... and that perfection is the sharing and fellowship with his sufferings. Paul is pretty consistent in this and hence I wouldn't quote any more examples..

Matthew 5:48 ⁴⁸ "Therefore ^1ayou are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
This verse is just so crucial to help us understand what it means to be perfect. Taken out of context you can see that anyone who uses this verse to say we should give our best to God... but yet a simple logic of realising that no matter what we give and how best we do.. we are pathetic creatures at best. Jesus said this verse to remind us and in his other stories like the woman with the two copper coins makes us realise that perfection is not in seeing the final product. So what did Jesus mean by being perfect here? This was right in the middle of the sermon on the mount where the attitudes were mentioned so clearly... It was never in the instance of the product, it was in the production which counted more.

I really believe that as we grow in fellowship with Christ, the grace given to each other is a testimony of God's perfect love towards us. We would then grow and in working together, we learn and share the love of God and this molds us to be the perfect Christian dying to ourselves each day....

9/10..... is a bad result..

2011-06-22T00:19:00.001+08:00

So today PLMC cradle roll came to visit me and Siping and it was an interesting time with them. Surprisingly, we were the first home they visited in over a year cause many of the new parents didn't want visits. So anyway I got into a chat with the husband of one of the ladies who came..... It was about miracles which he claims should be so much of a norm now. In fact he feels that they are usually under reported, citing the church at Suntec probably has more but nobody shares about it. Hmmmm.. So he started sharing the story about how Jesus healed the 10 lepers and only 1 came back. He said that if the people had ask and we should ask for miracles as the Lepers did. This showed that if more miracles were shared, we would really see it in more and we have to believe. Didn't want to argue too much... but hey perhaps we should just look at the passage.

Luke 17:11-19 ¹¹ While He was on the way to Jerusalem,He was passing between Samaria and Galilee. ¹² As He entered a village, ten leprous men who ^astood at a distance met Him; ¹³ and they raised their voices, saying, "Jesus, ^aMaster, have mercy on us!" ¹⁴ When He saw them, He said to them, "Go and show yourselves to the priests." And as they were going, they were cleansed. ¹⁵ Now one of them, when he saw that he had been healed, turned back, ^aglorifying God with a loud voice, ¹⁶ and he fell on his face at His feet, giving thanks to Him. And he was a ^aSamaritan. ¹⁷ Then Jesus answered and said, "Were there not ten cleansed? But the nine-- where are they? ¹⁸ "¹Was no one found who returned to give glory to God, except this foreigner?" ¹⁹ And He said to him, "Stand up and go; ^ayour faith ¹has made you well."

Perhaps the logic is simple that if there were really 9 who came back then more would see the miracle. But Let's look at the passage more carefully. The Lepers asked for.... mercy. The understanding of sin was usually tied to the disease they had and so they wanted Jesus to have mercy on them. Jesus didn't exactly heal them, all he did was say go to the priests and in the midst of them going, they were cleansed. The point of the story was the turning of just one leper to give glory to God and the writer's touch to personally say, the Samaritan, the foreigner whom Jesus went through the town of Samaria was to contrast the second part of the story.

Luke 17:20 ²⁰ Now having been questioned by the Pharisees as to when the kingdom of God was coming, He answered them and said, "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs to be observed;

See the point? It is not with signs to be observed. Its strange that Luke would suddenly switch from the scene of the Samaritan to "Now having been questioned" a bunch of Jews (Again the contrast with foreigners) who supposedly believed yet did not have the faith to believe that the sins of the foreigner can be forgiven by Jesus, let alone the cleansing.

This was even more strange consider that Jesus actually said these words earlier.

Matthew 10:7-8 ⁷ "And as you go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand.' ⁸ "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.

He specifically commanded the disicples not to go to the Samaritan villages to proclaim the kingdom of heaven. Yet here on, he is cleansing the Lepers of which the one who comes back is a samaritan. Basically, this was earlier on when Jesus started the ministry and was focused on the Jews yet he was rejected and strangely enough the foreigners had more faith in him...

My point on miracles is this... It's fine to believe as the bible clearly shows that it did occur. Yet we need to ask ourselves what was the writer trying to say when he wrote them, that we should focus on the miracles? Its quite clear that even with miracles people would turn away, see the 9 Lepers.... So perhaps the miracles were simply showing that Christ was God, the he was able to forgive sins and a testimony to his diviness. (See the parts when the disicples and people ask who is he? in Luke 8:22, 8:28,9:9, 9:18 and the climax of 9:20) This all occured after miracles... Just taking a casual reading would leave you amazed that the miracles point to Christ so that the people then could see. What purpose do they serve today?

SO anyway.. 9/10 well isn't that good a number... would we return to glorify him?

2011-06-20T16:56:00.000+08:00

I got know Lecrae from a long time back... but this was one of his earliest albums... It spoke to me a lot. Maybe cause I believe music shouldn't be about empty lyrics but this song is just so powerful, reminding me of my purpose and shares the struggles.. (See lyrics in bold) In an age where Christian music is so focused on self, where people sing the songs cause it helps to make them fill better, I believe we need to relook what it means to follow after Christ, to know who we are, and see not just worth but our identity that stems from us following after him. My fav verse is the last one..

I'm grateful that you know me if you send me i'll go
Lord I'm dyin to serve and I'm livin to know you

Lord erase me if I ever turned and lived for myself Cuz your glory's infinitely greater than my personal health
And Lord I know I'm not worthless you give me my worth But I know I'm not perfect to lolly the earth
And can't nobody do it like the way u do
Usin me and my whole crew to reach the world for you
And it's true they watchin everything that we do
Yeah its true that we're an illustration of you
I look at verse 26 in genesis chapter 1
It says I'm lookin like my daddy the more i follow the son
And the more i follow the son all my days look brighter Cuz he placed a hope within me got me feelin all excited
Got me feelin like a writer like B on the train (whatup BJ)
Standin up and tellin everybody Christ is King (Jesus)
If ya see me on the TV or the world wide web
Know that I be givin Christ da cred
I know why some people see me but I don't trip
I pray the Lord will keep me focused on a missional tip And use this music as a tool to get Christ inside of your dome
I can't just say it on the mic I gotta do it at home

May you be blessed to hear the words just as I heard them..

Colossians 2:6 -7

2011-06-20T16:45:00.001+08:00

Colossians 2:6-7
⁶ Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, ⁷ having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.
I'm simply reminded of the importance of having known Christ, I really need to stay firmly entrenced to him.. perhaps what Derek said is true, the reading of his word changes me. Yet without a change in the heart, the word read would simply be words. I'm grateful... really of the chance I've had to know Christ. May we walk in him each day...

Its not so easy to understand a baby...

2011-06-20T16:27:00.000+08:00

It's not easy to understand babies.... I think I'm quite a failure in carrying Elliot... I came home on Father's day and well thought I'd spend some time carrying him... but alas my dear young man decided to cry and cry... and cry... mebbe he ain't used to me yet. I really did feel the closeness to you as I held you for the first time and some how soothed you to sleep. You know... Sometimes I wonder how God tries to reach out to us... He has so much patience to try to teach us. I don't think I am going to be that patient and without being able to communicate, I'll definitely struggle.. I'll try to get more time with you Elliot yeh? Every day as I pray for you.. I hope that you'll continue to walk in the ways of the Lord that you would find delight in him.

Starting over again

2011-06-20T15:37:00.001+08:00

I guess its just about time to start on a new blog... perhaps cause I want to use this platform to share some of my thoughts as I try to live a life that's pleasing and honoring the God I love. Its definitely a new chapter in my life, trying to raise a kid, getting a little older in ministry , yet still feeling a little angsty over issues.

I've grown to enjoy a bunch of friends over the last few years... and these are the people who have helped me grow... The friendship which is more than just hanging out, its one which reveals a side of me and helps me to reconsider many things... perhaps thats why this blog is called "anamimnesko" avnamimnh,|skw which essentially means to remind you(and me) and call to remembrance the events that occur.

The first lesson which has been so evident to me since my last post over 2 years back is on gratefulness... I'm truely grateful for the grace you (O Lord) have shown me to me. The gifts you've given to me as I learn to use them, I pray you'll be glorified. I'm grateful to you Siping for your love shown to me... that as I continue to be the husband and father , you'll be patient with me....

May you, my friends as you share my life, be blessed to allow me so share my reflections with you..